~The Programmer's Oath

There's the Programmer's Oath

Uncle Bob Martin is one of the giants of software development theory. The Programmer's Oath he proposed is the industry's fundamental code of professional ethics. The oath consists of nine ethical goals for software developers.

So of course there was an opponent of his (perhaps) who proposed the Anti-Programmer's Oath. Actually, I wrote it

In order to crush the professional honor of computer programmers and prevent its restoration, I promise, to the best of my ability and judgment:

1. I will produce harmful code.
2. The code I produce will always be my worst work. I will knowingly allow code that is defective in either behavior or structure.
3. With each release, I will not conduct any verification tests, guaranteeing that it is impossible for every element of the code to work as it should.
4. I will not release small versions, thereby impeding the progress of others.
5. I will seize every opportunity to fearlessly and relentlessly damage my code. I will never improve it.
6. I will do all that I can to nullify the productivity of myself and others. I will do nothing that increases that productivity.
7. I will continuously ensure the destruction of others' work, and that they can destroy mine as well.
8. I will make estimates that exceed expectations in magnitude and precision. I will not make any promises I can keep.
9. I will never learn or improve my craft.